My kids are really great at making excuses. The minute that either of them thinks they did something wrong, the situation automatically becomes about what piece of the issue was completely out of their control. And it makes me crazy.
But…. guess what? I do it too. And I think that is why I get so angry. Where, on this trip called parenthood, did I let them think that blame shifting was okay? If I take a hard serious look, I would say that it started with me. I have found some crazy reasons throughout my lifetime just to prove that “it wasn’t my fault”. Because, really, why would I want to take full responsibility for all the dumb stuff I have done?
Finding that *excuse loophole* that I continually give myself is very convenient. It is a way I can persuade myself that I actually had no control over the situation I put myself in. I would like to say I am working on it… and I am. However, the first things that pop into my mind when I make a mess of something are those bloody excuses.
And here are some great ones:
The dog ate my homework.
That vase was kind of wobbly already.
She put the dessert tray too close to me.
Fast food companies put additives in their food that make us addicted to it.
The gym is just a little bit too far away.
I went to bed too late.
I haven’t had my coffee yet.
I get it from my mother/father — it runs in my family.
Recognize any of these?
So now the question is: How do I stop making excuses?
Firstly, you have to recognize that you are making the excuses (and if you are reading this, there is a good chance you have already), and then you have to stop making them.
- Write down your biggest life goal(s).
- Write down every excuse you have given yourself that has stopped you from achieving your goal(s).
- Write down the reasons for achieving your goal(s).
Once you can recognize the excuses, you can stop yourself from falling back on them. (Make a chart with the excuses for each goal if necessary.) Now you can also see how small some of the excuses are in comparison with what the goal is. Your self-talk will begin to change — the conversation going on in your head begins to shift. When the excuses pop up, you can remind yourself of the reasons you have made the goals in the first place. {You can click here for more information on setting goals and sticking to them.}
Your success depends on how you talk to yourself and what you let yourself get away with. Don’t sabotage your journey before you have the opportunity to begin.